Dear Internet: I Fail

Pretty consistently, internet. You know this because you are my partner in crime. Don't get me wrong; before you, I knew absolutely nothing like success. You have enabled me to do fancy things like research for school projects. That's pretty cool of you, internet. Pretty cool indeed.

But, when you are not fancifying my life, you are distracting me. But then, I'd be distracted anyway. And right now, I'm not failing at school as much as I am failing at the rest of life.

I'm failing to be a friend. I'm failing to be a sister/daughter/niece/cousin. I'm failing to be a girlfriend.

I have some big decisions to make. I need to make them soon, so I'm putting them off. I'm hoping that this trip to Alabama will bring me some clarity; maybe some time away, and actually away, will be good for me and help me sort this stuff out.

But maybe it's just more procrastination.

All I know is, if I'm going to do this thing, the sooner the better. So naturally, I procrastinate some more.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Yeah, I actually don't get the reference I made. Pathetic? Very!

But, there have been a lot of things going on. Life is topsy-turvy. I'm trying to figure things out, but in the meantime, I am trying to keep moving.

Moving moving moving.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...not crazy at all, I swear!

So this morning I went for a run. Well, it started out as a run, anyway. Less than one minute in, it became a walk. That's life, eh? But, I did walk...with sporadic bursts of running...for a whole hour. I was so proud of myself. There was a turtle involved, some scary grass, killer deer, and it was just a whole big thing. I think I'll do it tomorrow, too.

Soooooo...to do

1. Keep up the running
2. Clean the apartment, post-finals
3. Apply for the fall internship.
4. Weep when my application is rejected.

Gloomy and hopeless? I prefer to think of myself as a realist.