Wow, looking back over these, I am a spoiled brat. I really would delete them, but that feels so dishonest.

And about honesty, I'm discovering the depths of it in my partner, and it's really highlighting where I fall short.

I want to be honest. No one wants to think she is a liar. But have I ever had a perfectly honest day? I don't know. Today my mother was venting about my sister's problems, and said Danielle should tell a little white lie to her mother-in-law to fix things. For once, I bucked at the idea, and then a second later, Papa came in and offered me lunch but I said, "No thanks, I already ate."

Dear reader, who is not really there, I had not eaten all day. I had eaten the night before, perhaps, and I guess I wouldn't have made it this far in life without eating, but I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch or anything. He's 105 and it's easier to say that I ate already so he doesn't worry.

And the thing is, even though it's a lie, it's one I'm comfortable telling because I was not going to eat coldcuts (my stomach was upset) and it kept him from worrying!

Andy is so very honest. It is one of the things I love about him, and probably something that repulses him about me is how easy it is for me to slip into "white" lies. I'm not willing to say that a tiny lie to make someone feel better is wrong, not yet, even though my religion dictates that it is a venial sin, but I know that many of my white lies benefit me and me alone. If I don't have the confidence to tell the truth at all times, what does that say about me? If there is one thing I don't want to be, it is a weak person.

And so begins my year of honesty. Stupid, stupid honesty.

Tasks for tomorrow (if I can):
Clean the basement - box up my things, fold laundry, clear off the tabletops and shelves, throw trash away, etc.
Go to the bank and the post office
Grocery Shopping
English Project